Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: What do the gynecologist and the Pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every
night??
A: Hanson.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What do you call a dog with 4" legs and 6" steel balls?
A: Sparky.

Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A: Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out

Q: What's somewhat brown and often found in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left
is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike? (not tomatoes)
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with
everybody at the party except you.

A young girl is sitting in a barber shop with her mother, eating a
twinkie, and waiting for a haircut. When her turn comes, she brings
her twinkie with her to the chair, and the barber covers her. Soon,
she pulls the twinkie out for a bite.
"You're getting hair on your twinkie," the barber playfully warns.
"Yes, I know," replies the girl. "And I'm getting boobs, too."
===========================
What's the best thing about a blowjob? 10 minutes of peace and
quiet.
===========================
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass? A
Mechanic.
==========================
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
the other?
A Speech Impediment.
==========================
Definition of a nice Greek Boy....A Greek boy who takes a girl out
twice before screwing her brother.
==========================
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half mast?
They're hiring.
==========================
What do toilets, clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men
miss them all.
==========================
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? Because they're
not going to work in the future either.
==========================
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo"
=========================
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.
==========================================