Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: What do the gynecologist and the Pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every
A: Hanson.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What do you call a dog with 4" legs and 6" steel balls?
A: Sparky.

Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A: Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out

Q: What's somewhat brown and often found in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left
is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike? (not tomatoes)
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with
everybody at the party except you.

A young girl is sitting in a barber shop with her mother, eating a
twinkie, and waiting for a haircut. When her turn comes, she brings
her twinkie with her to the chair, and the barber covers her. Soon,
she pulls the twinkie out for a bite.
"You're getting hair on your twinkie," the barber playfully warns.
"Yes, I know," replies the girl. "And I'm getting boobs, too."
What's the best thing about a blowjob? 10 minutes of peace and
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass? A
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
the other?
A Speech Impediment.
Definition of a nice Greek Boy....A Greek boy who takes a girl out
twice before screwing her brother.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half mast?
They're hiring.
What do toilets, clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men
miss them all.
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? Because they're
not going to work in the future either.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.