Exam on Hell
-This is reported by a graduate of the Univ. of Oklahoma School of
Chemical Engineering, citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's Final Test
questions for his final exam of 1997. Dr. Schlambaugh is known for
asking questions like this one on his final exam, "Why do airplanes
In May 1997, the Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II Final Exam question
was, "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof"
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Laws
or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So at what
rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I
think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell it does not
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets
look at the different religions that exist around the world today.
Some of the religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all people and all souls go to hell. With the birth and death
rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase
Now we look at the rate of change in the volume of hell. Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to
stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
a1) So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell
will increase until all hell breaks loose.
a2) Of course, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter, then the temperature and the pressure in hell
will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Theresa Banyan during Freshman year, that "It will be a cold night in
hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I
still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then
A2 cannot be true...
Thus hell is exothermic.
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.