Bill of No Rights

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA.

"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to
help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any
more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure
the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-
great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish
some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden,
delusional, and other liberal, bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people
are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they
require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV
or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -
not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and
probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If
you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will
gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch
potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another
generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That
would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and
lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children
risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience.
We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you
from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting
the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling
each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want
all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times,
but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education
and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by
the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of
idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of

If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many
people as you can. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall
you should you not forward it. We just think it is about time common
sense is allowed to flourish - call it the age of reason revisited.